A Thousand Times Over
by MysticTeddy
Summary: James knew, from the moment that he met her that he loved her, when she was looking at him in disgust on the Hogwarts train in first year. Lily knew from the moment she saw him screaming in agony that she would go through that pain herself a thousand times over to make sure she never saw his face like that again. [Jily] [Marauders fic Hogwarts and First War]
1. Chapter 1

**I am in such a Harry Potter mood at the moment I thought I would give a Marauders era fanfiction a go. It has been so long since I have wrote anything. I don't know If I will continue this or just leave it as a oneshot. Please read and review and let me know what you think I should do.**

It was the Summer before 7th year. Hogwarts students where enjoying their Summer holidays, playing at the seaside, sunbathing, going on dates. It was a wonderful clear summers night. That is what Hogwarts students should be doing. But not Lily Evans.

Lily Evans panted as her legs gave way and she fell against the nearest tree in exhaustion, how long had she been running? She looked around wildly, but saw nothing but a vast forest of trees in front of her. She didn't even know exactly where she was. The funny thing about forests is that each tree seems to look the same in the dark.

As her breathing slowly returned to normal she heard screams in the distance, she pushed herself up and took off running towards the screams gripping her wand tightly, ignoring her brains protests that it was too dangerous and her body's groans that she was just too tired.

She stopped when she saw a clearing with an obvious battle going on. Her heart stopped when she saw the familiar figures of her friends fighting against hooded attackers. James Potter and Marlene McKinnon were dueling the hooded figures with such verisity that Lily knew this was life and death, and it truly terrified her. She gripped her wand tightly and aimed it in the middle of the battle, she noticed that her arm was shaking a lot that she could not even hold it still to properly aim.

She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, this wasn't the time to lose faith in herself, she needed to protect her friends. Lily emerged from behind the tree and pointed her wand; 'Protego' she shouted.

The shield spell had its desired effect and knocked the two attackers over, as they lost their balance their identities where revealed, an average sized man with short dark hair and scars on his face, Lily recognized him as Travers a Death Eater and the other was a boy that was in their year in Hogwarts, Wilkes. Wilkes was in Slytherin and was friends with Severus, he quite small for his age and kind of chubby. His hair was still parted in dirty blonde curtains that she felt they could be standing in the school corridors having this fight.

James smiled slightly at the sight of Lily but quickly turned and caught Marlene who fell down, she was bleeding quite badly from her right arm.

'Well looks like we have a new toy to play with.' Travers sneered pointing his wand at Lily.

'Hey!' James yelled, 'Leave her out of this! You're problems with us remember.' Travers looked at James and smirked, 'Feelings get you hurt kid, let me show you.'

Lily felt a sharp thud, she had hit the ground, she couldn't blink, she couldn't move. It took her a second to realize that Wilkes had turned his wand on her.

 _You can't move_ a voice taunted her from inside her head _, All you can do is watch._ She couldn't move, she couldn't even blink. She realized with horror that she was under the Imperious curse. The voice kept repeating this to her over and over again.

James, distracted with Lily's fall turned his body as if to run to her, Travers took this distraction and aimed his wand, 'Crucio!' He yelled.

James fell to the ground in agony, he screamed out. It was pain unlike any Quidditch injury, any rejection he had felt before. It was as if every inch of his very being was on fire. He wanted it to stop. He wanted it to end. To die. And suddenly it was over. Jamed turned over onto his stomach and tried to get up, but he couldn't. His body was shaking too much.

'I told you, tsk tsk getting distracted by a pretty face, although I must say it is very pretty,' Travers droned walking towards Lily. James grabbed his wand and made a slashing motion towards Travers, a slash appeared on the older mans trousers.

'Now that wasn't very nice now was it?' He snapped looking mildly amused, 'Although I am surprised to see that you can move at all after being under for three minutes, lets try five, crucio!'

'Stop it!' Marlene pleaded, 'Stop it!' Travers kicked her to shut her up.

Lily felt tears run down her face, James' screams off agony were consuming her, his face was twisted into an expression of agony so intense that Lily was sure she would see this image in her nightmares for years to come. She looked around and saw that Wilkes was watching as well, his wand was pointed at Lily still so the connection of his Imperious curse didn't falter, but it didn't feel as strong as before.

 _You can't move_ the voice taunted her again. _You are helpless_

 _Yes I can_ , Lily argued _I need too. James. He needs me. He needs me!_

Lily suddenly felt her fingers spread through her, she could move?! That should be impossible. Seeing that the two men were distracted and not paying attention to her, she slowly began to stand up despite her body feeling like it was made of lead. She took a step forward and almost screamed, it felt like she was walking on knives. Suddenly impulsively she leaped forward and ran at Travers and charged into the side of him.

Travers toppled over and the spell connection broke. His eyes widened at the physical contact. He turned and looked at the redhead girl helping up the black haired boy. Her emerald eyes glaring at him with blazing fury.

He smirked. This was going to be fun. But his arm burned so he knew that this time this battle was over, but the war, the war was just getting started, and it was going to be an interesting one.

The two men looked at each other and then In a flash of dark grey they were gone. Lily fell to her knees overwhelmed with what had just happened.

'Lily!' Marlene cried running towards her, 'Are you alright?'

'I-I'm okay.' Lily sighed swallowing back the tears that were fighting to get through. She looked up and saw James getting to his feet and fixing his glasses.

'It's pretty impressive.' Marlene said, 'You went through all that without losing your glasses.' She smirked at James who forced out a laugh.

'What can I say. I'm full of surprises.' He said smiling, he then looked up at Lily meeting her eyes. The two both stared at each other, trying to communicate their feelings to each other without actually saying the words.

James knew, from the moment that he met her that he loved her, when she was looking at him in disgust on the Hogwarts train in first year. Lily knew from the moment she saw him screaming in agony that she would go through that pain herself a thousand times over to make sure she never saw his face like that again.

But now was not the time to express their feelings. James held out his hands for Lily to hold, she accept and he pulled her up. James surveyed her face and brushed her red hair out of her face to examine a cut on her face.

'You have a cut.' He stated, 'It looks small though, it should heal up fine.'

'Thanks..' Lily said

'That was amazing!' James said, 'You shouldn't have been able to move at all nevermind run at him like that.'

'I.. I couldn't.. I couldn't watch you like that.. It was.. Too painful..' Lily said trying to keep her voice even and trying to not breakdown. James seemed to sense Lily's emotional turmoil and tried to put his arm around her but Lily moved out of the way.

'Please no. No I'll fall apart.' She explained.

'Oh.' Was all James managed to say. He then stood there torn between his desire to listen to Lily's wishes and his own desire to pull her into him and never let her go.

Marlene broke the tension between the two by shoving her hand into James' right pocket.

'C-Can I help you?' James stuttered taken at back by Marlene's clear disrespect for his personal space. The blonde responded by tutting and bringing out a mirror.

'Sirius!' She called into it, 'Sirius!'

'Marlene! Is that you?' Sirius voice called out.

'Does anyone else look this good?' She asked smiling

'Good? Good compared to what?! Love you look a mess?!'

Lily walked away and folded her arms, she sighed deeply and tuned out the banter between Sirius and Marlene. Trying to clear her head of recent events.

She thought back to the beginning of the year. This year, their 6th year was the beginning of their NEWTS. Lily was hoping that her biggest fear would be deciding exactly what she wanted her career to be and how hard studying was going to be. But alas life had other plans. This year was the beginning, the beginning of the war, the beginning of her feelings for James. The beginning of the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**I would like to add that I know James seems a little immature than I would normally like, but as I have decided to make this a longer fic I would like to show his growth. I believe that the war had a big impact on the characters (obviously) but I would like to believe at the beginning they were sort of ignorant, as you would be at 16.**

 **XX**

As Lily looked around at her two companions recovering from the battle she remembered back to January when Voldemort began to make his move out in the open, as for years he had recruited in secret. She remembered how it seemed like nobody cared or took much notice of this mad man. He was referred to as a cultist who had an issue with the Ministry above all else. Some even denied his existence saying that these rumors have been going around for many years and that it was just a rebellion of some pure blood families. That it will soon end.

She remembered a saying that her mother told her,

 _The Devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist._

January 1977 6th year

'Hmm' Remus Lupin hummed as he flipped through the pages of the Daily Prophet, 'These disappearances are just getting worse.' He said addressing the small train compartment but upon when he got no response he glanced up and he realized that he would get a better response from the tree passing by outside the train window.

Remus was sitting with his back to the window facing his friends on the seat beside him sat Peter Pettigrew who was currently counting the stack of chocolate frogs cards that the boys had collected throughout the years. Remus had to agree that having over two hundred cards was quite a collection, although whenever it was a healthy one was beside the point.

On the other seat across from him Sirius Black lay sleeping, Remus moved his leg over and nudged the sleeping man,

'What.' Sirius groaned rolling over but still having his eyes closed, 'I didn't sleep well last night, what do you want?'

'I said did you read this?' Remus asked throwing the Daily Prophet at his friend, Sirius groggily picked up the newspaper and read it his eyes growing darker and his face becoming more somber as he read it.

'Yeah it looks like things on the outside are getting serious.' He agreed.

'It still doesn't feel real.' Peter piped up, 'Like you hear all these terrible things happening but it's as if it might be happening a million miles away.'

'But it isn't happening a million miles away.' Remus argued, 'It's happening here.'

'Wormtail has a point though, it doesn't feel real. It feels like a scary story. People going off and joining some kind of cult or something.' Sirius said sitting up and yawning, 'Besides how many people are going to follow a nutjob like-'

'Don't say his name!' Peter squeaked flailing his arms around.

Remus and Sirius looked at him dumbfounded,

'What, why?' Sirius asked.

'I heard its cursed!' Peter replied

'His name?'

'Yes!'

'Merlin's soggy bottom it's not! It's a name!'

'Just don't say it!'

At that moment James Potter burst into the cabin and slammed the door closed. Remus threw Sirius a knowing look and the other boy sighed and stood up he threw his arms up in the air

'Come on give Padfoot a hug and tell me all about it. What did that little LilyPad do now?'

James through him a dirty look and threw himself down in between Remus and Peter. Sirius still stood with his arms raised, 'Prongs.' He pleaded, 'Come on. Hug it out.'

James sighed and got up and accepted the black haired boys embrace, 'There you go.' He cooed, 'Feel better?'

'You are so weird.' James said fighting a smirk and pushing Sirius off him and going to sit back in his seat, Remus groaned at the invasion of privacy.

'This coming from the boy who hugged him.' Remus chimmed in.

The boys sat in silence waiting for the inevitable. It was coming, any minute now, Sirius thought and he looked over at Remus and held out both of his palms and mouthed the word ten, Remus shook his head and mouthed twenty. Sirius smirked and starting counting down, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one..

'She is just so irritating!' James exclaimed jumping up and pacing the compartment, Sirius shot Remus a smile who frowned at the boy.

'She just won't talk to me at all! Its like she still blames me for what happened last year. I didn't call her a.. A _you know what!_ That was Snape.' James ranted. 'I just want to talk to her. Is that too hard to ask for?'

'Well it's not like he got a clean slate.' Peter said, 'I heard she broke things off from him completely.'

'Don't say it like that. Break things off, like they were an item.' James spat.

Sirius sighed, he knew that when it came to Lily the rational part of James' brain just didn't work. So he and the others listened to James' rant for another thirty minutes before Remus had to go on prefect duty.

'Tell her that I volunteered at St Mungos!' James called after him as Remus practically ran down the train.

XX

Remus sighed as he watched the other prefects leave the compartment, he sat down and tried to rid his head of the headlines in the newspaper, but he couldn't. Losing three people in a month was just too suspicious, of course no one ever came out and said anything.

'Remus?' A voice asked, Remus looked up to see Lily bent over him, her red hair falling over her face that she had to brush it back, she was looking at him with concern on her pretty face; 'Are you okay? You seem sad?' He smiled, Lily really was so caring of others.

'I'm fine Lily. It's just the papers, they've got me annoyed.' He said standing up and facing her.

'Oh.' Lily said nodding in understanding, 'Yeah I get it, they are annoying me as well.'

'I'm sure it's nothing!' Remus said cursing himself, Lily was muggleborn this was the last thing that she needed to concern herself with. But Lily looked at Remus with an expression that said she knew what he was doing.

'If you need to talk..' Lily said sitting down beside him and smiling, 'Im here.'

So for the next half and hour they sat and talked about the disappearances and about the Death Eaters.

'Oh dear look at the time!' Lily exclaimed getting up off her feet, 'I better get back to Marlene, she'll be wondering where I am.' She gave Remus a quick hug and took off down the train.

'Yeah I better get back to James and all.. Hey Lily!' Remus called after her, she turned around,

'Yes?' Lily replied tilting her head.

'Do you fancy getting a Butterbeer next week at Hogsmeade?' Remus asked, he was eager to talk to someone about the issues going on in the world. Lily cared about the so very real threat that was looming. Many people in their year didn't, it seemed like talking about who was snogging whom was much more titillating gossip.

'Yeah sure that sounds good. We'll arrange a time later, see you.' Lily smiled and walked away. Remus smiled and turned to walk back to his compartment.

Upon entering he saw James and Sirius involved in a game of exploding snap while Peter hovered around them cheering for the both of them. Remus smiled at the sight of his friends, these peaceful moments that he was worried could be coming to an end.

'There he is.' Sirius grinned, 'What took you so long? We were worried you got lost.'

'Lost on a train? Where would I go?' Remus said setting his things down on the chair and taking a seat, 'I was talking to Lily.'

'We saw the others walk back to their compartments about half an hour ago.' James said smirking, 'I knew she liked me, why else would she listen to you ramble on about me for..'

'Actually we didn't talk about you.' Remus said stifling a yawn,

'What did you talk about then.' James said frowning and holding his hand up to stop Sirius from placing down another card and focusing all his attention on the brown haired boy.

'Just recent events.' Remus drawled rubbing his eyes, 'Oh and about Hogsmeade next week..'

BOOM!

The card Sirius had in his hand exploded, Sirius grabbed his sore hand and nursed it but as he looked at James' defiant face he secretly wished that it was his head that had exploded instead.

'You asked Lily out. Really?' James asked in disbelief. Remus cursed himself for his own stupidity, of course James would take it the wrong way.

'No not a date..' He tried to explain but James wouldn't have it.

'I can't believe this!' He said outraged, 'Lily? Of all people Lily?! Are you kidding me?'

'Just because she doesn't want to go with you..' Remus snapped standing up. James pulled his wand out and pointed it as Remus.

'You. And me. Were done.' James spat and he turned around and stormed out of the compartment.

'Really Moony, really?' Sirius snapped and walked out after the black haired boy muttering something about stupid werewolves and melodramatic stags.

Remus was left feeling very guilty and angry. He hadn't asked Lily out on a date and he knew that she thought it was just a platonic thing but also seeing how James reacted got Remus annoyed, James didn't own Lily, she was free to go out with whomever she wanted as friends or as something else if that was what she desired.

But as he looked at Peters face he realized that this might be something that won't be getting fixed anytime soon.

XX

Two weeks. James had not spoken to Remus for two weeks. Sirius and Peter where starting to get annoyed at the split in the Marauders. Sirius compared it to a divorced couple where they got shared custody and when they spent time with one they would always just complain about the other.

Soon it was time for Hogsmeade.

Remus got up early that day as he did not want to endure James' glares as he got ready for his day but as he woke he saw that their dormitory was empty. James must have had the same idea. Although he was a little annoyed that both Sirius and Peter went with him but he reasoned that they would be going to Hogsmeade together and he would be going with Lily. As he entered the common room he saw her sitting in the armchair by the fireplace with a book. Lily loved to read books, she said that she felt that it teleported her to another world, that it was her magic before she knew that real magic existed.

'Hey Lily.' Remus said tapping her on the shoulder, 'You're up early.'

'I couldn't sleep to be honest.' She said closing her book and setting it on the coffee table. 'You look like you couldn't either.'

'No. Not really.' He said not wanting to explain to Lily that the reason he couldn't sleep was that he was afraid James was going to jinx him into oblivion.

'Want to get breakfast?' Lily asked standing up Remus shrugged and followed her.

As they exited the common room and descended the stairs to the Great Hall they were greeted by a lot of girls. Girls who just wanted to say hi to Lily and throw a curious look at Remus. He gulped, this could look bad.

'Don't worry.' Lily said looking at him, 'This school is always full of silly rumors of who is dating who.'

'It's the rumors that I'm worried about,' Remus said before he could catch himself.

'What do you mean?' Lily asked turning round to face him her emerald eyes blazing. Remus remembered James' mentioning Lily's temper and hoped that he wasn't about to get the brunt of it.

'Does this have to do with why you are not sitting with Potter these days?'

Remus sighed, he might as well tell her. So he told her everything that happened after they had agreed to go to Hogsmeade together.

'This is ridiculous!' Lily threw her arms up in the air in frustration, 'I'll deal with this.' She said and stormed off to the Great Hall. Remus tried to grab her arm to stop her but Lily pushed him off.

'Please Lily no,' He pleaded, 'Please don't..'

'Potter!' Lily yelled as she entered the room.

James who was sitting in between Sirius and Marlene piling sausages onto his plate looked up in shock at being shouted at so early in the morning,

'You stopped talking to Remus because of your pathetic crush on me, really?' Lily said walking over and poking him on the chest, 'He has been through enough and doesn't need your petty jealousy.'

'Listen to me James. We are never going to happen, we are not even going to be friends. Accept that.' Lily said, her voice was almost pleading that James glared at her.

'Fine.' He said standing up, 'Whatever Lily.' He brushed past Remus and walked out the door of the Great Hall.

'It would be really great..' Sirius said standing up, 'If we could get through one day where I could eat my breakfast without worry that one of my friends were going to jump off the Astronomy tower.'

With that he followed James out the door. As the entered the Entrance Hall he saw James stalk past Filch and make his way towards the gates.

'Prongs!' Sirius yelled running after him, James didn't turn around but he did slow down for his friend to catch up to him. 'Are you okay?' He asked.

'I'm done with her.' James sighed, 'I can't go through it again.'

Sirius nodded but stayed silent, James giving up on Lily was a common occurrence. So he decided to change the subject, 'Zonkos?' He asked

'Yeah. Let's go I need to get more stink pellets anyway.'

XX

'Do you think you were a bit hard on him?' Remus asked taking a sip of his butterbeer. The two of them sat in the middle of the Three Broomsticks, a seating plan that Remus thought showed that they did not wish to be intimate and it was openly friendly as they sat on a table with four extra chairs.

Lily rolled her eyes, 'James just drives me crazy, but coming down hard on you isn't fair either. I really just don't have time for his possessiveness.'

'I think you secretly like it.' Remus said smiling causing Lily to spit out her butterbeer,

'W-what?!' She gasped, 'Why would you think that?'

'It's just your chemistry.' Remus said, 'If you have chemistry you only need one other thing.. Timing.'

'Timing?'

Several people got up from their table and quickly walked outside, one man knocked into the back of Lily causing her to spill her drink, and mumbled a quick apology before heading out the door.

'But timings a bitch.' Remus said smirking taking a swing of his butterbeer, 'It is not your time.'

Lily looked at him, speechless. Did Remus really think that Lily would be interested in Potter? Surely the butterbeer had gone to his head. She laughed and playfully pushed him, Remus grinned back. The door to the Three Broomsticks burst open but no one entered. Strange, Lily thought It wasn't even that windy, she looked over to Remus to voice her confusion but she saw that he was glaring at the bar.

Suddenly there was a loud piercing scream, Lily and Remus jumped up and looked around wildly. Many other customers looked just as shocked and concerned as they did, many people reached for their wands but Lily didn't,

'That came from outside.' Lily said as she headed towards the door, she reached for the door handle but a hand grabbed her and held her back, she looked around and locked eyes with James Potter, his eyes were hard and cold as he looked outside the window.

'Potter?' Lily asked but James shushed her.

The lights suddenly went out and James ushered Lily back to the table, bewildered she allowed Sirius, whom she didn't even see appear, to grab her put a cloak around her and pull her behind him It felt odd that it was so light like she wasn't even wearing a cloak. It was almost see through so she really did not see the point but at this moment Lily was so confused by recent events she didn't argue.

Suddenly all questions were answered as two men entered the bar. The atmosphere that radiated from these men left Lily with no question that these men were Death Eaters.

XX

Sirius Black and James Potter strutted down the village towards the Three Broomsticks,

'Are you sure you want to go in there?' Sirius asked smiling at.'Remus and Lily are in there you know.'

'I know.'

'Probably snogging.'

'You are like, the worst friend ever do you know that?' James said hitting his friend on the back of the head.

'Well we could interrupt Peter..'

'No' James said firmly, 'Its his first date. Let's leave him alone.'

'But that is so not us.' Sirius complained

'We'll annoy him on his second one.' James smirked. 'Besides I think they are still at Hogwarts. Peter didn't want us being.. Well us.'

Suddenly Sirius grabbed James' hand.

'Umm Padfoot..'

'Look!'

James looked around saw a huge crowd of people, about thirty in a line. He noticed that they were older than Hogwarts age and must have lived at the village. There were two men dressed in dark black robes with their hoods up walking up and down examining the people. One man pointed to one of the people. A young woman and the shorter man grabbed her and brought her to the front to face the crowd.

'The Order of the Phoenix have been trying to discredit our Lord!' He called out his voice carrying, his voice was not unpleasant to listen to, it's confidence and boldness would have been comforting if his words had not been so dire, 'They say he is a fool to believe that magic should remain in pureblood families! That he is a fool for not wanting our blood tainted by our lessers! To that we say that you are the fools! This is a warning, a warning to stop trying to delay the inevitable!'

He pointed his wand at the young woman who was sobbing and pleading. James automatically walked forward but Sirius held him in a bone crushing grip.

'There's nothing we can do.' He whispered.

'This muggle stole one of our wands. If we are not careful they will weed us out and magic will cease to exist! This is what is needed to be done, this is self preservation! Now scatter rats, tell about what you witnessed here today!'

And then there was a flash of green light and screams, blood curdling screams. Everything went in slow motion the crowd broke away and people ran. The woman James thought, no one was going over to her. She needed to be moved, she didn't deserve to lie on the ground like that.

James felt Sirius grab him and drape the invisibility cloak around him, he heard him say that they needed to find Remus and Lily and make sure that they are okay.

Lily!

James bolted to the Three Broomsticks that Sirius had to grab onto his cloak to make sure that he stayed hidden. James crashed into the door of the pub and with the impact he hit the door with he stumbled slightly and hit the side of the bar table Sirius grabbed him to stop him from falling.

James looked around and saw that everyone was behaving normally, No one was panic stricken or devastated at what had just happened outside.

'There was a shield put around the crowd.' Sirius muttered reading James' mind, 'Must of muffled the noise. That was a show for the villagers, I think they were under the imperius curse as well.'

James then saw Lily and Remus, he saw Remus looking right at them and knew that he knew they were here.

Suddenly there was a loud piercing scream, the pub got more lively now as people stood up wondering what was going on.

James watched as Lily walked over to the door he jumped up invisibility cloak falling off him he pulled out his wand and grabbed her hand pulling her away from the door, he met her eyes and saw confusion and fear in her emerald eyes. He looked out the window to see a crowd gathered around the body. There were Hogwarts students among them.

'Potter?' Lily asked but James shushed her.

The lights suddenly went out and James ushered Lily back to the table and shot a look at Sirius who grabbed her and put the invisibility cloak around the redhead to hide her.

The two Death Eaters entered the pub, with the atmosphere these men created they might as well have been Dementors. James looked around to see Madam Rosmerta walk forward with her wand pointed out.

'You have no business here leave.' She commanded. The man looked up but still remained cloaked so his identity was hidden.

'That's not very hospitable now is it.' The tall man replied, 'We just would like a drink.'

'I already told you, leave!' Madam Rosmerta fired a few sparks from her wand as a warning.

The tall man chuckled, 'That boldness will serve you well Madam.'

The other man walked towards the door and looked outside, 'Looks like someone came to crash the party.' He said, his voice was much rougher than his companions that it was a shock to hear him speak.

'Well.' The taller man said, 'We must bid ado it seems.'

And with that the men were gone, they apparated. Madam Rosmerta ran to the door and flung it open running outside to aid the other villagers.

James looked out the window to see many Aurors patrolling the street. News of the attack must have reached the Ministry, he saw many of them aiding the villagers, providing comfort from the tragedy that had just happened.

'What happened?' Remus asked as Lily pulled the cloak off herself. Sirius looked at James and they stayed silent for a moment before James spoke up.

'A muggleborn was murdered.' He said avoiding Lily's eyes and her gasp.

'Oh my God.' Remus whispered, before he could say anything else Sirius pulled him into a hug.

'I'm glad you are okay.' He said. James joined in wrapping his arms around both of his friends. Showing without words that he was sorry for the way he had acted these past few weeks.

He broke away and looked at Lily. Tears were streaming down her beautiful face.

'Lily.' He whispered stepping towards her and brushing a tear away, 'Don't you worry I will never let that happen to you. Ever.' Lily looked up into his hazel eyes and saw the determination burning in them.

'T-Thankyou.' Was all she managed to get out.

The four of them were question by Aurors a few minutes later. James and Sirius gave their account on what they saw as Remus and Lily did not actually see anything they were free to go but Remus insisted that they wait and all go up to the castle together. Lily did not argue, she was not going up to the castle on her own and if she was really honest, she felt safe around the Marauders.

'This is really happening now isnt it?' Lily asked to no one in particular as they walked back to Hogwarts.

'Yeah it is.' Sirius said solemnly kicking a stone as he walked past it with his hands in his pockets.

The four of them stopped as they got to the gates of the school. The scene in front of them could only be described in one word. Chaos. Students were clinging to each other and crying while Filch ran around trying to probe everyone with a probity probe. The news of a murder in Hogsmeade had reached the school and they heard Professor McGonagall announce that all students must converse in the Great Hall, as they all walked in together Lily reached out and grabbed James' hand.

'I take back what I said earlier James.' She said squeezing his hand, 'I need you as my friend right now.'

It wouldn't be until later that night that either of them realized that this would be the first time that Lily had said James and much later for them to realize what the implications behind this simple act meant.

XX


	3. Chapter 3

It had been three days since the Hogsmeade incident. James sat on the ledge on the Astronomy tower watching the stars. It was past midnight so he knew that it would be unlikely that he would run into anybody else. He picked up a cigarette and put it to his mouth and lit it using his wand. He had never seen the teachers as on edge as they had been these few days. Professor Dumbledore made an announcement in the Great Hall speaking of the tragic loss of Amelia Gilbert a muggle born that had lived in Hogsmeade and had worked part time in Zonko's while training to be Healer. James shivered as he thought of how she had died.

He mentioned that these were dark times that dark forces were gathering together, and that as a school they had to stick together. James knew that it was easier said than done.

As he inhaled he thought of Lily and there new improved friendship status. The past three days they had spent nearly every minute together, although not alone with the other Marauders, Marlene and Mary McKinnon. Marlene and Mary were Lily's best friends, although she had many friends, Lily's kindness and welcoming atmosphere led her to have many friends and acquaintances. Something that James always found useful when he was looking for her as somebody knew where the redhead was. He had spent the best part of six years wishing to be Lily's friend, and now that it was happening, he could think of nothing worse.

As they all sat together and joked and laughed it was obvious that Lily just saw James as another friend of hers. There were no lingering touches, stolen glances, nothing that would indicate that she wanted something more. Is it possible to be friends with someone that you love when they may not love you back? Can you ever get over something like that?

He thought of Snape, he had obviously had feelings for Lily that she did not reciprocate and look how their relationship turned out. James then shook his head. _Snape insulated Lily in the worst way possible_ he thought _I would never do that._

He didn't want to be in love. He positively hated it, any girl he was with, he wished it was her. It was positively maddening.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, was all James focused on for the next few minutes as he looked out to the nights sky. The stars were out and shining brightly, ironically a great night for Astrology. The half moon in the sky was casting a glow on the lake that the shimmering water was dancing in the moonlight. This time of night was so peaceful, so quiet.

Suddenly he saw a shadow moving past the lake, he frowned and narrowed his eyes hoping to catch another glimpse of what the shadow was. He leaned forward slightly, gripping the railings of the tower to keep his balance.

'I thought you would be here!' Sirius' voice barked in his ear. James jumped startled that he almost toppled out of the window and to grab onto the side of the tower to keep his balance. He watched as his cigarette fell to the ground below.

'Padfoot!' He snapped, 'You could have killed me.'

'Wow.' Sirius observed, 'You must be really out of it for you to not even hear me,' He moved out of the way as James jumped back into the Astronomy tower to safety, 'What where you thinking about?'

'I'll give you one example.' Remus said stepping out of the shadow of the tower before James could reply, 'Lily.'

'Lovely Lily.' Peter piped in, he was sitting a few feet away from James unpacking items such as fire whiskey and Honeydukes sweets out of a bag. 'Sleepover!' He announced. James looked at him, his chubby boyish face was flushed red a combination of carrying the heavy bag and from climbing all those stairs.

'Yay sweets!' Sirius said jumping over and grabbing the bag of chocoballs out of Peter's hand. Peter glared at him to which Sirius shot him a smirk before emptying the contents of the bag into his mouth.

'We are not staying here by the way' Sirius said his mouth full of chocolate, 'I have a date in an hour.'

'What dates begin at one at night?' Peter said frowning at his black haired friend.

'The good ones.' Sirius said winking at his mouse haired friend.

'Well that's all well and good, but why are you all here?' James said, 'Use the map to find me?' he added looking over at Remus who smirked back at him.

'Can you blame us, you've been so distant these past few days, we were worried.' Remus said sitting beside Sirius and patting the ground beside him, 'Come on talk it out.'

'I don't think guys talk about their feelings as much as we do.' James said surrendering and sitting down beside Remus, he reached into his pocket to bring out another cigarette but Remus grabbed his hand.

'No more! I smelt you as soon as I reached the bottom of the tower.' Remus said

'Well you're a werewolf.' James pointed out, 'That's part of the description'

Remus chuckled slightly but didn't release James' hand until the latter promised not to light up again. The smell of smoke really irritated Remus, James assumed that it was due to his enhanced sense of smell, that or he really was just a pill. The Marauders sat and ate sweets and drank fire whisky out of the bottle for the next thirty minutes, laughing and joking about past pranks, and more recently dates.

'And that's how I ended up missing and kissing her eye.' Peter finished taking a drink

'That's the worst first kiss story ever.' Sirius concluded, 'I can't wait to hear your first time story I'm placing a bet now!' He said holding his arms out like this was the most important speech he will ever make, 'of ten seconds.'

'Now Padfoot be fair.' James said smirking, 'Twenty.'

'Minutes?' Peter asked hopefully.

'Nope you fool, seconds.' James laughed taking a swing of the bottle and shaking it slightly at Remus

'As delightful as this conversation is can we change the subject.' Remus asked refusing the bottle that James just offered him

'Aw' Sirius grinned taking the bottle from James and taking a quick sip, 'you're just shy because you haven't kissed anyone yet.'

'Just because I don't advertise it like you do doesn't mean..'

'What been kissing Peter in secret have you?' Sirius laughed his bark like laugh while Peter stammered that he doesn't kiss boys,

'You kissed one girl, let's not close that door just yet.' James said laughing, 'Same to you Moony old pal.'

Remus glared at him his cheeks turning red. Sirius took another drink and then pulled the brown haired boy into a quick passionate kiss. He pulled back grinning at Remus' mortified face.

'Wow' James said holding his hands up, 'What just happened?'

'I kissed Remus.' Sirius said smiling.

'And now you will tell everyone!' Remus growled standing up. His face was livid, 'How dare you!'

'It was only a kiss Remus don't get your wand in a knot.' James said smiling. Remus turned to him his face beet red and he was shaking.

'Easy for you to say Sirius didn't just kiss you!' He snapped.

'No.' James said pointing to Sirius who had made a motion to move towards him. Sirius sat back down and laughed.

'Let's get out of here.' Peter said standing up, 'Before Sirius kisses anyone else.'

The boys walked back to the common room, they bid farewell to Sirius who made his way to the Ravenclaw common room Peter wished him luck on his date to which Sirius said he might as well have been called Felix. Remus was still muttering about the black haired boy as he walked up to their dormitory he said that he wished to be alone.

James looked around the common room and saw Lily sitting with her friends chatting animatedly about something, he saw that she looked up at him and smiled but returned to her conversation. Peter walked over to join the group but James hesitated, he felt quite tipsy and did not think that tipsy James was a good combination around sober Lily. All he would need would be another drunken declaration of love.

'James!' A voice squealed from behind him, he turned around to see Alex Merriscott grinning at him, Alex was a girl in fifth year, she had long blonde hair and a figure that many women would kill for, and that gave her confidence which gave her a reputation. James heard that she knows how to mount a broom he smiled at the first time he heard Sirius say that.

'I just wanted to say that I love that shirt on you. Red is really your color.' She said fingering the material of his t-shirt and moving closer to him. James laughed and ran a hand through his already messy black hair.

'Well that why I choose Gryffindor. Screw bravery I look good in red.' He joked, Alex laughed loudly and placed her hand on his chest.

'You are so funny.' She smirked, 'You know I've heard your funny.'

'Oh yeah.' He said smirking, he turned around to see what Lily was doing out of habit but before he could fully turn his head Alex grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss.

James tripped slightly and had to throw his arms around her to keep himself from falling. In his tipsy state he did not pull away as quickly as he did when he was sober.

'I knew you were a good kisser too.' Alex whispered bringing him into another kiss. This time James focused on the kiss forgetting about everyone else and the wolf whistles that echoed around him. He brought his hands to her face and kissed her enthusiastically savoring the thrill that the drunken kiss was giving him.

After a while they broke apart, Alex rushed over to gush with her friends about what happened and James stared at the floor and began walking over to where Peter was sitting. He felt much more sober now and started to feel the regret set in, the regret that he usually felt when he kissed someone, as he knew his heart wanted someone else.

As he sat down he looked around the group and was taken aback by the looks on everyone's faces. Mary and Marlene were glaring at him not even trying to hide their disgust. Alice and Peter were talking between themselves but the conversation seemed to be forced, as if they did not wish to be dragged into something. He also noticed that Lily was missing. That's odd he thought, he didn't remember seeing or hearing her leave.

'Where's Lily?' He asked trying to diffuse the obvious tension in the group. But as soon as the words left his mouth he realized it was the wrong thing to say.

'Oh now you care where she is?' Marlene snapped, Mary tried to shush her but Marlene was not having any of it, she waved away her friends hands hysterically, 'No Mary, no! He obviously doesn't even care about her.'

'Can someone please explain to me..'

'You kissed Alex.' Mary spat, 'In front of Lily.'

There was a silence at Mary's words. James looked at the two girls, he was clearly missing something.

'And?' He said still confused as to what that had to do with anything.

'Hold my wand.' Marlene said shoving her wand at Mary, 'I'm going to kill him myself.'

Lily, Mary, Marlene and Alice sat in the Gryffindor common room. It was a quiet night without the Marauders, Lily knew that James was probably out at the Astronomy tower she glanced at the window wondering what he was doing now.

It had been three days since the terrible, terrible tragedy. Although as terrified as Lily was she also felt really, really happy. Being friends with the Marauders, real friends was something that took her by surprise, she had always felt that they were an immature bunch that only cared about themselves and just wanted to pull pranks but she was wrong. The day of the incident they protected her, James went out of his way to make sure that she was safe, they all did. And then suddenly they were always together, at lunch, in classes, studying, she smiled as she remembered her and Remus trying to explain to Sirius why they had to do their potions homework and not just 'get Lily to hand it over because Slughorn loved her' She had no idea why she felt so complete now. But she did.

'Sirius looked pretty good today' Mary said opening up a chocolate frog, Marlene scoffed,

'Yeah if you like that kind.' She said twirling her blonde hair with her wand.

'You just don't like him because he called you a bimbo last week.' Mary said laughing at her friend.

Marlene stuck her tongue out at her friend but didn't respond. She turned to Lily who had just given James a quick smile.

'The Marauders are back,' she said, 'See anything you like Lily?'

Lily turned around to look at her friend, 'What do you mean?' She said frowning. Mary and Alice rolled their eyes dramatically while Marlene giggled.

'You and James obviously. I don't know how many times I wanted to suggest that you two go find a broom closet together.' Mary said smirking at her red headed friend.

'I don't know what you mean.' Lily said stubbornly, 'I haven't even touched James Potter.' As she thought about him she remembered that incident again and the look in James' eyes when he looked at her, his hazel eyes were burning beautifully. Lily could honestly say that she could get lost in them.

'You don't need too, you can tell he...' Marlene stopped suddenly and her jaw dropped, Lily turned her head to see James caught in an embrace with Alex Merriscott.

Lily didn't like James Potter. He was arrogant, vain and a complete show off. Everything came easy to him while she tried hard to achieve. He loved Quidditch while she got the teams names wrong. He liked firewhisky, she much preferred butterbeer. He liked dogs and she loved cats. Complete opposites. But yet, watching him kissing another woman. Lily felt a sickening jolt flash through her body that made her feel like she was going to be sick, she felt as though she stomach had turned to lead, she rose from her chair with a lump in her throat.

'Excuse me, I have to go.' She whispered as she ran out of the common room. She ran down the steps towards the dungeons and turned into a small courtyard, she knew that it would be empty there, that would give her time to access what the hell that feeling was because it certainly wasn't jealousy? She couldn't be.

As she rounded the corner she saw Remus Lupin sitting on one of the benches, his head was is his knees so she wasn't able to see his face. She saw that his shoulders were shaking. Lily walked cautiously towards him not wanting to spook the boy,

'Remus.' She whispered reaching out towards him. He lifted his head suddenly making Lily jump backwards slightly. His eyes were bloodshot and red and tears streamed down his face.

'Lily.' He whispered, his voice was so broken that Lily kneeled down in front of him she grabbed his hands and held them in hers.

'Remus what's wrong?' She said softly as she reached up and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

'I kissed Sirius,' He said, 'Well... Sirius kissed me.' He choked out. Lily blinked, that was not what she was expecting.

'Well.. Remus it really doesn't matter if you..' Lily began but Remus waved his hand dismissively

'I don't love Sirius. It was a joke I know. We're not..' He said, 'That's.. That's not the problem.' Remus dissolved into tears again, he sobbed Lily squeezed his hands and tried to shush him to calm the brown haired boy down.

'What is it then?' She urged, knowing he will feel better about it if he got whatever was troubling him out of his system.

'He was my first kiss.' He whispered, 'What if I never get another one.' His voice was so devastated that Lily's heart shattered for him she closed her eyes so she would not cry herself.

'It won't be.' She said firmly, Remus turned to look at her,

'Lily there's things about me that no one would love.' He said, his voice was so full of bitterness that Lily wondered what he could have done to make him hate himself so much.

'There's things that you couldn't help but love.' She said challengingly smiling at the boy. She got up and sat beside him on the bench and put her head on his shoulder. 'You know I envy you. You will get married and have lots of kids.' Lily laughed, 'And I will be alone with like fifty cats.'

Remus laughed, 'Yeah like James would let you be alone.'

'James is the reason!' Lily argued laughing, 'I bet he'll hex every guy who...' Suddenly the image of him kissing Alex flashed in her mind and she stopped talking realizing that that daydream might no longer be true. Remus noticed the change in mood and looked at the redhead.

Lily was staring at her black basketball shoes, her emerald eyes were frowning. Remus wondered what had changed her so suddenly, was it something to do with James.

'Do you ever feel broken?' She whispered, coming from Lily Remus found this to be quite a shock.

'Always.' Remus replied, 'But somehow Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail make that all go away. I'm not as desperately pathetic when I'm with them.'

'You.. You four have that affect on people.' Lily said sighing, 'I just feel so broken right now. My sister hates me. I lost a childhood friend. I, I may have a crush on Potter.'

Remus knew that if he was drinking something he would have comically spat it all over the place. Unfortunately he did not, the only thing he could do was choke on nothing.

'That was unexpected.' He said smiling a genuine smile once he got over his near death experience.

'Unexpected indeed.' Lily agreed swinging her legs back and forth, 'Almost as unexpected as him kissing Alex.'

'Alex? Alex Merriscott?' Remus said bewildered, not even remembering a time that James had even acknowledged the blonde.

'That's the one.' Lily said in a sing song voice, 'Nice couple. Too much PDA though.' She turned around and laughed at Remus' expression, he looked like he had been confunded.

Remus stuck his tongue out at her when she voiced this observation.

'Come on.' Lily said standing up and holding out her hand, 'Let's go. It's getting late and I don't want to be caught out of bounds with you'

Remus grabbed her hand to let her help him up and they began to walk back to the common room.

As the pair walked away they failed to notice that they weren't alone. Severus Snape sat in the corner clenching his fist so tightly his nails dug into his pale skin.

So Lily fell under Potter's spell at last. He sneered thinking about it, he felt sorry for her, she didn't know any better without him, without him she didn't know who she was meant to be friends with. Teaming up with Lupin and the rest of those Maurauders was a recipe for disaster, did she not realize that? He walked back slowly to the ground of the castle. He was running late enough already.

It was dark but the moon was casting a blue hue, it didn't matter to Snape. No one would be out on the ground at this time he looked behind him to make sure that he wasn't being followed and made towards the forbidden forest.

As he entered the dark unforgiving area he saw three hooded figures standing in a circle, none of them looked up as he came closer.

'You're late.' A voice snapped, Avery glared up at Snape underneath his cloak, 'We have been waiting.'

'I got. Held up.' He said don't wanting to discuss why he was late.

'That mudblood again.' Bellatrix laughed a cruel laughed throwing her hood off of her. Snape looked at the black haired beauty, he always thought that she would be prettier if she smiled more instead of sneering.

'I couldn't risk her following me.' He said simply, hoping that they would leave it at that.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, 'You know I think it's about time that we give her exactly what she deserves.'

'We can't hurt her.' Evan Rosier said sounding thoroughly disappointed, 'Dumbledore will come down hard on us, especially after what happened in Hogsmeade and we are not a part of the Dark Lords army yet.'

'You are forgetting something.' She said smirking, 'We have someone who is gifted at Legilimency. We can make her hurt without harming a hair on her head, therefore no evidence.'

XX

 **Another chapter done! The next one is going to be pretty dark so be warned! I am not sure which other pairings I would like to have so if you have any thoughts please let me know :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter has some dark scenes. It was quite hard to write so I toned it down from what I had previously written. So please if anyone is easily triggered proceed with caution.**

 **Also there is some bad language as well. You know teenagers and their potty mouths**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, J.K Rowling the woman herself does**

The first thing James felt before he sprung out of bed in a panic was something furry brushing up against his legs. He jumped out of bed with a startled yelp and pulled back the covers back to discover a large brown rat looking up at him with his beady eyes and whiskers twitching.

'What are you doing?! James demanded yelling at the rat who had invaded his bed, 'This is my bed! It's a Saturday!' The humorous scene that was unfolding to any witnesses was lost to James, as was his bed.

'Um James?' Adrian a fellow Gryffindor said timidly walking towards him slowly, obviously worried about the black haired boys sanity, 'It's a rat it can't understand you.; he reasoned.

'Yes it can.' James snapped turning to glare at the redhead almost offended that Adrian would take that tone with him.

'Oh well okay then.' Adam replied looking uncomfortable at Jame's attitude towards him. He shrugged his shoulders, 'Well I have to go meet Lily in half an hour and have to run to the library first, see you later.' And he turned to leave but he felt something tug his arm stopping him.

James grabbed on to Adrian's arm to stop him moving, 'Evans?' He questioned frowning at the red head, 'My Lily?'

It was Adrian's turn to frown, he took his hand off the doorknob he was holding and shrugged out of Jame's grip. He sighed preparing for the confrontation that was sure to unfold. When it came to Lily He knew how James could get but he could not be annoyed with it anymore.

'She's not yours James.' He said looking at the boy, 'This crush of yours is getting old and pathetic. Now if you excuse me I am leaving.' And he walked out the door.

James stood there bewildered, was he really that possessive of Lily? He turned around to see that the rat had transformed into the smallest member of his group.

'Petticrew.' James said acknowledging his friend with a grunt.

'Oh last name eh?' Peter grinned, 'Oh dear I am in trouble.'

'It's not you.' James said throwing the clothes that he wanted to wear on his unmade four poster bed, 'Did you hear him? I never even heard of Adrian mention that he liked Evans. Of course I was going to be surprised. I thought he was dating Dorcas?' He ranted glaring at the wall like it had called him a needy prat.

'Apparantly she dumped him for a Slytherin.' Peter said, 'An eagle and a serpent. He asked Lily out this morning at breakfast.'

'Morning? What time is it?' James asked as he changed into his clothes.

'About three. That's what you get when you saunter into the dormitory at five in the morning, a wasted Saturday morning.'

'I was cooling off, Marlene and Mary basically tore me in half.'

Peter rolled his eyes, 'Well hurry up and get ready, brush your teeth and come downstairs, we have plans to make.' He got up and left the dormitory, James smirked after his small friend. He was getting much more fiery these days.

James sat down on the edge of his bed and ran his hand through his hair. So Adrian asked Lily out and she said yes. He could handle that. It was fine, it's not like he himself has not had any offers or taken anyone else out on a date before. It was fine. Lily could date. It was fine, he thought. As long as they didn't kiss in front of him. No. No they better not do that. If they did he may just do a swan dive off of the Owlery.

As he entered the common room some minutes later he saw an occurrence that was frequently becoming quite common. Sirius and Remus fighting. They stood by the entrance facing each other and glaring, Peter stood in the middle trying, and very obviously failing, to diffuse the situation. James walked over towards his friends and instantly regretted it.

'And you reek of smoke all the time! You know that it irritates me!' Remus said.

'Life irritates you Remus.' Sirius snapped back.

'Oh so it's Remus now is it? Fine Sirius!' Remus turned around and stormed over to the sofa by the fireplace where James noticed that Lily was sitting. She was wearing her cloak and had her hair in a hat. It was clear that she was going out. But that was fine.

'What is going on with you two? You're fighting like an old married couple.' Peter hissed at Sirius.

'He's the one with the problem.' Sirius said glaring at the brown haired boy who had opened a book and started to read. 'What do you think Prongs, hey Prongs?!' Sirius began to say but James began to walk away, 'Where are you going?'

'It's not fine.' James said as he strutted over to where Remus and Lily sat.

'Hey Pot..' Lily began but James held his hand up stopping her from speaking.

'Stop. No. Is it true that you are dating Adrian?' James said quickly his tone was not kind.

Lily looked up at him bewildered by the sudden question and hostility in his tone.

'I'm not dating him.' Lily answered not knowing what to say as she felt her face grow red. People around them were starting to look in their direction. Lily wanted to avoid another Evans/Potter fight.

'But he asked you out?'

'Well yes.'

'And you said yes?'

'It was only for a walk around the grounds.'

'But you still said yes?'

'...Yes.'

'So you are dating?'

'Look Potter.' Lily snapped, 'What is your problem?'

'Oh lets see!' James yelled losing all composure, 'Maybe it's because I have asked you out like a million fucking times and the answer is always no or go jump in the lake. But as soon as Adrian the bloody Gryffindor prat asked you it's like oh yes please! Well fuck you.' He spat.

Lily stood up and pushed James in the chest, all the thoughts of telling James about him kissing Alex went out of her mind, she was furious.

'I don't care how mad you are at me, don't you ever speak to me like that again.' She said her voice trembling with rage.

'But that's how everyone speaks to you isn't it Evans?' James heard the words leave his lips before he could help it.

'Prongs.' Remus said warningly but it was too late, the damage was done. Lily lifted her hand and slapped James hard in the face. The noise echoed around the common room which had fell silent when James had started yelling. Everyone watched in silence as James put a hand to his cheek and begrudgingly watched Lily leave through the portrait hole. Just as she left Alex walked in. She saw the expression on Jame's face and rushed towards him.

'Oh my gosh James! Are you alright?' She asked placing a hand on his face.

'Yeah I'm fine.' He said loudly, 'Just told ol' Evans that I didn't want to go on a date with her and she slapped me.'

'Wow some people can't take rejection.'

'I know right.'

Sirius and Remus smirked at each other.

As Alex went to walk away James grabbed her wrist,

'Hey do you fancy going somewhere to talk?' James asked, Alex smiled at him.

'I thought you would never ask.' She replied. James grabbed Alex by the hand and led her out of the portrait entrance. Upon their departure the common room erupted into conversation again. Sirius and Peter looked at each other walked towards Remus.

'Well that was eventful.' Sirius said sitting down beside Remus, who looked at the long haired boy and sighed in surrender. Signaling that their fight was over.

'If not predictable.' He said.

'Should we go after him?' Peter asked looking at the entrance with a worried look on his face, Sirius followed his eyes and shook his head,

'Nah let him snog someone and get his mind off Lily.' He said.

'Like that's possible.' Remus laughed.

'Yeah what is up with that?' Sirius questioned.

'He loves her.' Remus replied simply, 'That's all to it.'

'I have a bad feeling about this.' Peter said not able to shake the uneasy feeling that was swirling in his stomach.

Lily waited in the entrance hall for Adrian, her pale face was set in a frown as she was thinking about James and his angry reaction at her decision to go on a simple date. _He was impossible_ she thought angrily, he can snog girls in front of the entire common room, but she can't walk around the grounds with a boy? Like she said, impossible.

'Lily!' She heard Adrian's voice call her name and turned around to smile at the red headed boy running towards her.

'Hi.' She said smiling at him, 'You ready to go?' She asked and boldly held out her hand for him, Adrian looked at it and grinned. He took her hand in his and they set off towards the grounds together.

They walked slowly, bumping slightly into each other, and talking about small things like are they enjoying the school year and the cliched weather conversation. Lily was happy to see that it was a clear day despite it being quite cold.

Lily noticed that they were descending closer and closer to the Forbidden Forest.

'Fancy going in?' Adrian asked grinning at the redhead. Lily blinked, her gut reaction was saying no way in hell, but today she felt like being brash and bold.

'Yeah there's no harm in having a quick look.' She said letting go of his hand. There was a lot of hidden tree roots and fallen branches hidden by a blanket of leaves, she knew she would need both her hands to keep her balance to avoid falling and humiliating herself on a first date.

As they descended further in, a feeling of unease set over Lily, as the darkness grew wider she felt the pit in her stomach grow. Lily stopped and looked around, all she could see where the tall trees towering over her almost covering the darkening sky.

'Lets go.' Lily said feeling uneasy and turning around to face Adrian, as she faced him she froze. Adrian had his wand pointed directly at her face.

'Adrian what are you doing?!' Lily demanded shocked at the sudden turn of events.

'What I told him to do.' A voice echoed. Lily glared as Mulciber emerged from the shadows, she drew her wand pointed it at him.

'Even I didn't think you were stupid enough to do an unforgivable curse under Dumbledore's nose.' She sneered, Mulciber grinned a menacing grin that sent chills through her body.

'He wont tell.' He said confidently, 'Neither will you in fact.'

'Oh yeah?' Lily growled gripping her wand tighter, 'try me.'

Mulciber hesitated for a second as he looked at Lily's wand and the fire in her eyes. Lily was not known to be a weak witch, quite the contrary.

'I thought you would never ask.' He laughed, 'I have an old friend of yours who is just dying to have a reunion.'

Lily's heart dropped as Severus emerged from behind her, confirming her thoughts that he had fallen deeper and deeper into the darkness. This wasn't good, she looked at his almost maniacal expression and felt a jolt of fear shoot through her.

'Severus.' She said pleading, 'Whatever it is that you are planning to do, please, don't.'

'I told you Lily.' He whispered feverishly his eyes looking at her with desperate longing, 'I told you.'

'Told me what?' She asked turning her wand on him.

'That Potter would hurt you! I told you to stay away from him, that his pathetic crush on you is just going to blow up in your face. And you didn't believe me, now look at the predicament you're in!' He was shouting deranged, Lily looked at him confused he was not making any sense,

'You're not making any sense.' She said.

'He and those friends of his, they want to challenge the new law, to join the rebellion, dangerous, yes, and now you are involved.' Snape was mumbling to himself more than to her. Lily frowned, James and the rest of the Marauders have always been passionate about opposing the Dark Lord and his forces.

'You still don't get it. I am what he wants to vanquish, James is not the problem, Voldemort is.' Lily spat.

'James!' Snape yelled pointing his wand at Lily, 'James?! It was never meant to be James Lily! It was meant to be me!' Lily lowered her wand looking at him with a mixture of pity and sadness in her emerald eyes.

'It was never going to be you.' She whispered.

'I can make you chose me.' He said moving towards her. Lily shoved her wand at him poking him in the chest.

'Oh yeah?' She challenged, 'Shall we see who is the better duelist Snivellus?' Lily smirked, Snape eyes narrowed, how could it be possible that for just a moment the love of his life represented his worst enemy.

'Yeah!' Mulciber shouted, Lily looked around him and gasped he had a knife to Adrian's throat,

'Just do as you are told mudblood.' Lily lowered her wand they had her there's no way she would let anything happen to another person, as she looked at Adrian's blank expression, he was drooling slightly at least he would not remember this. This gave her some comfort.

Lily tried to keep her face straight not wanting her fear to show, even though inside she was trembling at what might happen.

'Snape.' Mulciber snapped looking at the boys face, 'The Imperius is out of the question with her, the mudblood is being too well watched.'

'No one is watching now.' He reasoned.

'Just do as was planned.' He commanded. His voice was so authoritative that Snape nodded and obeyed, he leaped forward and grabbed Lily by the face looking into her emerald eyes. Lily struggled to look away but couldn't. She glared and spat at him until she felt her knees buckle and she fell unconscious. Snape lay her on the ground and looked at Mulciber who was laughing silently.

'What did you make her see?' He asked. Snape looked at the unconscious redhead and smirked.

'Where the hell is Lily?' Marlene asked Mary that night at dinner. Mary looked around the hall but could not see the redhead. She was meant to just go for a walk with Adam but he was at dinner and refused to comment on what happened on his date with Lily.

'Maybe she's at the library.' Mary mused, 'If the date went bad she probably wants to be alone.' Marlene nodded but still wasn't convinced, looking around she saw that James was also missing. Oh great she thought, Lily must have been kidnapped by James. Marlene got up and walked over towards the three remaining Marauders, she leaned over Sirius who had his mouth full of potatoes.

'Have you seen Lily? Is she with James?' She asked. Sirius looked up at her and swallowed before answering,

'Maybe in an alternative dimension.' He replied grinning,

'Oh in that dimension can I be the tall one?' Peter piped in brandishing a chicken leg at them. Sirius nodded happily and Peter beamed.

'James is with Alex.' Remus said noticing how Marlene was seconds away from punching one of them, 'Why?'

'We haven't seen her since she left on her date with Adam.' Marlene said, 'He's back but she isn't.'

The three boys looked at each other knowingly.

'If you see her we will send her your way.' Peter said smiling reassuringly at her.

'With a spank on the bottom for being a very bad Lily.' Sirius said. Marlene glared at him before getting up and leaving muttering something about seriously annoying people. Sirius watched her leave and pulled out the map.

'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.' He muttered. The boys surveyed the map for a few moments looking for Lily's name.

'There she is.' Remus whispered, 'In the Forbidden Forest, what is she doing there?'

'She's not moving.' Sirius said urgently, 'Let's go!'

The three of them got up and walked around the corner to a small hallway that was rarely used. Sirius dragged the door of an old caretaker closet and pushed the others inside.

'Here.' Sirius said pulling out the invisibility cloak, 'We'll get there faster if we run and we can't have anyone follow us.'

'Does James know you have this?' Peter questioned as they pulled the cloak over them.

'Does it matter!' Sirius snapped

'Should we tell James?' Remus asked but Sirius sighed,

'What part of Lily is not moving doesn't sound like an emergency to you?' Sirius snapped again slowly losing his cool, 'Let's go!'

The gang rushed towards the forest as fast as they could. Peter had the map out and was navigating what direction they should take.

'She should be around here!' Peter announced and Sirius threw the cloak off them and leaped forward towards where Peter was pointing. As he sprinted he saw the redhead lying unconscious on the forest floor.

'Lily!' He shouted falling to his knees and grabbing her head and placing it on his knee.

'Lily.' He said softly touching her face gently trying to rouse her, 'Lily wake up.'

As he moved a stray bit of hair from her face Lily's eyes fluttered open, and once they focused she jumped away from Sirius and fell off his lap.

Lily tried and failed to scramble to her feet, she just sat on the ground, her eyes wide with shock and fear and she was trembling as though she had just emerged from the Black Lake.

As she noticed the three of them she started to cry hysterically,

'He.. He.. Oh God!' Lily mumbled and dissolved into tears again. Sirius looked at Remus who looked at a loss of what to do. Remus swallowed and then walked over towards the girl, he bent down and gripped Lily by the shoulders.

'Lily look at me.' He said calmly, 'You are safe. We are here to help you.' Lily allowed Remus to help lift her up, she stood for several minutes trying to return her breathing back to normal.

'What happened Lily.' Sirius asked placing an arm around her. Lily sighed and then began to explain what happened, Adam under the imperius curse, Mulciber and Snape's ambush, Snape's attack on her.

'He can implant visions?!' Sirius spat furiously, he walked away from Lily and picked the nearest tree in anger.

'I knew he fancied the Dark arts but not to this extent.' Remus muttered.

'He was always skilled with Legimens.' Lily said, 'My mind was easy for him to enter because he knows me so well.'

'Lily,' Remus said, 'What did you see?'

Lily looked straight at Remus and he saw a pained look in her eyes and he knew that what had happened must have hurt her deeply, the livid look on Sirius face confirmed that he knew as well.

'First it was him and me, together. I could have placed a bet on that one.' Lily said laughing a small laugh, Sirius growled his face growing darker, 'That wasn't the worst of it. He.. He.' Lily swallowed trying her hardest not to cry, 'He showed me the world in a few years, if Voldemort won. I was with Severus, safe... but James, James and the rest of you were dead. He showed me James dying.'

'It wasn't real.' Sirius said almost pleading with her, 'You have to know that it wasn't real.'

Lily wrapped her arms around herself and sighed, 'I know,' she whispered, 'but there's a reason it's the Dark Arts.'

Suddenly Lily grabbed her head and let out a grunt of pain, her body started swaying slightly.

'You're still weak.' Remus said grabbing her and guiding her to sit against the nearest tree.

'Get James.' He muttered to Peter, 'I think he can do some good here.' Peter nodded and took off.

Peter ran a safe distance and then transformed and scurried away quickly to the common room.

'James!' Peter said bursting into the dormitory. As he entered he saw James pulling on his trousers and Alex hide under the covers.

Peter was stunned, he stood and gaped at the scene in front of him.

'Really? This has to happen now, really?!' Peter shouted.

'Can we help you?' James snapped obviously irritated at being disturbed.

'Oh I am so sorry I interrupted your private dormitory.' Peter snapped back, 'but I need to talk to you, like now.'

'It's okay.' Alex said merging fully clothed smiling, 'I'm leaving.' She kissed James on the lips before leaving, James smiled after her.

'Um, hello?!' Peter yelled.

'Fine what?' James asked rolling his eyes and grabbing his t-shirt. Peter looked at James wondering how best to describe what the hell had just happened. Should it say it vaguely? sympathetically, angrily? Hysterically?

'Snape attacked Lily. He abused her with horrid visions.' He said going for bluntly. James shot Peter a questioning look, then Peter began to explain everything. James looked at Peter for a few seconds before turning around and vomiting in the waste bin.

Peter put a sympathetic hand on Jame's shoulder.

'So dramatic Prongs. Come on we have to go.'

'As Lily was being attacked I was.. I was with Alex. I will never forgive myself.' James groaned, 'I was mad at her thinking she wanted Adrian. Now to know it was all a trap. Oh God.'

'Come on Prongs, we have to go get Lily.'

James brushed his hand off and stood up looking at the smaller boy. James no longer looked like the tortured boy of a few seconds ago. His eyes were filled with rage and determination. He looked years older than he was.

'Where is she?' He growled his voice trembling with rage.

Peter tripped over himself as he was running as fast as he could clutching the stitch at his side, trying to catch up with James who was storming out of the ground on his way to the Forbidden Forest. Rounding the corner they came face to face with Severus Snape.

 **Another chapter finished, thank goodness, I rewrote certain scenes it must have been like ten times. Anywho I hope you enjoy and leave a review. Much love.**


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